Consecration ChÖd Revoked

In the eerie silence of night,
I stood naked by the mountain lake
Alone
Where once I held hands
And locked lips with adversity
I closed my eyes and the demons of yesterday
Ran amok
First in ones and twos
And them in multitude
And formed a circle around me
The walked slowly and walked to form a ring around me
The laughed in cacophonous tone
Pointing their barbed fingers at me and then
The started walking
And faster as the ring squeezed on me
Their voices getting louder and louder
The were now running with their fingers poking into my skin
And their laughter transformed to grunts
Rising in a crescendo
Then silence befell
I was blinded by their orbiting speed
And deafened by their grunts
I raise my hands and shouted aloud
COME AND DEVOUR MY SOUL
BITE INTO IT
TEAR IT MUTILATE IT
For I am a Sinner
And I have committed the heinous sin of believing
Not I God
But in Love
For I am a reprobate
Who dared to challenge the Devine propelled by Part of my false God
COME SHRED MY SOUL INTO QUARKS OF INNOCENCE AGAIN
Sweat oozed from my body and the mountain chill bit into my flesh
I was shivering
And chanting my invocations
In a delirious monotone
COME
ALL OF YOU AND SHREAD MY SOUL
FEAST ON IT
COME THIS FLESH IS FOR YOU
B I T E INTO IT
DIG YOUR NAILS DEEPER AND DEEPER
SKIN ME ALIVE
Do whatever it takes
But cleanse me


Like a man possessed I stood there
Shouting and screaming
My body drenched in sweat
And tears streaming down my eyes
I lost the count of time

Then I realized there was only me there
And eternal silence
I walked up to the lake
And dipped inside its placid water
There was no sensation
I looked around and sat down
Neck deep into the water
The silence was reassuring
Loneliness affirmative
There was no one else but me
Alone