Part Of God......()

i am the conscious
i am the soul
i am the thought
i am the action
i am intelligence
i am the reason
i am the dilemma
i am the decision
i am within
i am without
i am devine
a part of your soul
i am the end
i am the all
i am the journey
i am the road
i am what you are
a part of god
i am
what i am

the world is - because i am

i began

my being

as an awakening

of the union of two individual existence

as a de- novo independent entity


with me i carried no baggage of karmic leftovers

and when i opened my eyes to the world

all i had was clean slate


i grew up

learning from the stimulus of euthenics environment

as a tightrope walker between the blurring lines

of good and bad

of lies and truth

of sin and virtue

in the shades of gray in a polaroid world


i found the difference sometimes amusing

and other times intriguing

there were no finite measures of fidelity

the verdict was subjective to perception parallax


the world exists

as an interwoven complex of contradictions


god sees everyone as equal yet he will adjudge you...

he is compassionate but being infidel is a sin

he is forgiving yet the flames of hell await you

accumulate karmic dividends by acts of virtue

and you will reap their merit ad-infinitum

sin and be born again as a lesser mortal

to suffer the hangover of your act


amorphous anthropogenic lies

of action and reaction complexes

cajoling, coercing , confusing...


the world is - because i am

relationships exist -because i acknowledge them

responsibilities are- because i fulfill them


there are gods- because i worship them

not the other way around

and i am because i have a conscious

the conscious which was born

of the union of two individual existence

as a de- novo independent entity


my conscious

is not the center of existence

it is an iota in the infinite vastness

a negligible entity of existent energy

energy which can neither be created not destroyed

but will change form

without accumulated karmic dividends

without being adjudged

without suffering flames of hell

when i was born, i was free,

when i was born,
i was free,
without a name
without a cast or creed
my past was the essence of love my parents shared between them
and future were the dreams they nurtured for me

i got a name and a family at a price
i was no longer myself
i was someones son, nephew , brother....
they told me god created the universe
i wondered
that did it really would have mattered if my parents would not have created me

whenever as a child i fell sick, i saw my mother praying
and when i woke up in the middle of the night ,
i always saw my mother
the god was never there
and my father on earth always held my hand
i dont know about our father in heaven

as i grew up
i felt the cobwebs tangle my being
i was defined by a religion and dazzled by faith
and when nothing else worked
i was coerced by rhetorics
of angles and demons, of devil and god
it was a serendipity
that as i plotted to steal my younger brothers chocolates,
i discovered the devil ,
and when he came to know of the plot , he gave me those chocolates
alas i saw god
my bully classmate pushed me, i fell and i felt a demon
the class teacher picked me up, and i saw the eyes of an angel
so easy it was
they were so close to us
and we grope into volumes to find them

i know when i die
i will not carry any Karmic debts along
for there are none
my conscious is responsible for the acts i intentionally commit
and then it is also defined by the bias of my conscious
if i get sucked up into the vortex of greed i die un-contented
but if i accept the truth that i was born naked
i will die in peace
with myself

return of the lost spring ( experimenting surreal poetry in free form)

E A S Y
it was,
for YOU

to c#anze the wOrld i believed in...
youcameyouchangedandyouwent away ......
'blissfully' :))
ignorant about == autumn equinox ==
leaving me @ ##stranded in a sordid squalid##
to stand along the lengtheningshadows...............
and gather [{()}} fallen leaves

as the daylight deficit
into an eloooongated polar w,i,n,t,e,r ,
an urge of -----emotional hibernation------ ///eclipsed/// reason
to survive the ::::frigid:::: eternity::::: of :::::a:::: dry::::: ice::::::: glacier::::::::::::::::::::
(wrapped)
in a notional warmth ~~~ of steadfastness
to live
with + out UOU (you)

dRunk
on a surreal cOnCoCtIoN of Imaginative REALITY
h*a,ll-u**c,i;n:a_t 1n^g salvation
with w i d e ) open ( eyes
i know
i will keep chANngiNG
___subliming*****
m=e=t=a=m=o=r=p=h=o=s=i=n=g
into extinction
{what will remain
is the (notion of)
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>[return of the lost spring]}!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...You

i always felt that sun was bright,

until it was dwarfed in your light.

i used to think that sky was clear,

till moment your eyes came near.

i saw in stars a twinkle of hope

your smile narrowed this scope

i was besieged by moonlight grace

until i saw your angle face

the balmy breeze i felt was so divine

then you walked with eternal sunshine

Mona Lisa true

i did not find Vinci inspiring at all

hanging for posterity on the wall

oh that famous Mona lisa smile

i find its boring once in a while

eternal beauty they claim it to be

normal is what she seems to me

mystic charm they see in her eyes

i find it nothing but a bundle of lies

and then it happens, thinking of you

i,search no further for Mona Lisa true

...you are indeed beautiful

let the winds kiss you curls,

and spread the balmy breeze

let the sun shine in your eyes ,

and let iridescence increase

smile and let spring unfold

in grace let those stories be told

laugh and let the warmth get bold

thaw within what is left cold

get up and walk ,a step or two

from him , come back to you...

see your self in the mirror a heart full

...you are indeed beautiful