being alone...

so what 

if i was there 

all alone 

being alone

sometimes

is a panacea for incertitude 

i agree 

that my mind did cloud

for a while

as i contested 

an upsurge of emotional paroxysm 

that almost choked me 

of course 

it rained

but then

i saw a rainbow 

iridescent with coherence

a rainbow

of myriad manifestations 

bridging 

thoughts and action 

i felt 

irrationality

give way to 

reconciliation of mind and matter 

i registered the correlation 

between longing and belonging 

i was

till then a -  doer

and thereafter

i became a - deed 

being alone

sometimes

is a panacea for incertitude 

beyond juxtaposed imponderables

of course 

what matters is

intent 

often 

execution is marred by juxtaposed imponderables 

an old adage relates

will and way

by direct proportionality 

thus

when intent propels conviction 

the will becomes way

and the way becomes will

to overcome the perceptual impasse

well it holds true

that 

if the gains are abstract

and losses are material  

it may be prudent  

for few

to re calibrate their endeavor 

the climb is steep

the results unassuming

and it may be pragmatic to let go

but for those

who

believe in cause

effects are insignificant 

and what matters

is 

execution of their intent 

beyond juxtaposed imponderables 

...she...

there was something 

different about her

and i guess

i realized it 

as soon as

serendipity 

fielded us together 

on that summer evening 

as unassuming partners 

she

would translate her thoughts

into nonchalant action 

without any visible hesitation 

and execute a coup d'état 

to common logic 

with no attachment or remorse

not as a an act of rebellion 

but as an harbinger of change 

she 

would question the solutions

and suggest solutions to question

which were woven 

as Fait Accompli  

intricately in our upbringing 

as default settings  

not as an authoritarian challenger 

but as an inquisitive explorer 

she

would test truth with lies

and prove lies with truth

with an exceptional rationale  

apparently bordering irrationality 

in dogmatic domains 

of our restricted socio-system  

not as matter of defiance 

but as a matter of deliberation 

she 

would dare to challenge belief

and refuse to get herded like sheep

with firm conviction 

and unadulterated fervor 

un-flinched 

by resultant tremor 

not as a retribution 

but as a relief 

she 

was so much different 

yet so much of me 

in-fact she was everything

i always wanted to be 

yet it took time to relies 

that she does exists

while i wandered 

seeking with her a tryst 

on that summer evening 

when choices

funneled into objectivity 

at the crossroads

between 

self-realization and self- preservation 

i discerned  

that i had a conscious

and it is alive 

what is …life

let me look within

and introspect 

what is …life 

is it 

a series of finite situations  

flip -flopped into a random loop

driven by the algorithm of Karma

which accumulates 

bugs and brilliance 

as the program is executed 

layer by layer

factoring the residual merit

of previous boot

till the  blue screen of death

compels reformatting 

or is it 

a complex railway system

running

on one rail of thought

and other rail of action 

meshed into a  network

of junctions,switches and branch lines 

and the decision taken at each switch

determines the further passage 

and when 

the locomotive runs out of steam

and tracks are worn out with friction 

life comes to a standstill

what … is life 

let me look within

and introspect 

Maya, i See You

maya
i see you
standing under a Rhododendron tree
with a smile on your face
and a twinkle in your eyes
your hands spread half open
with palms facing upwards
and finger facing down
your feet covered with
the red flowers
being showered by the tree
you adorn
a flowing robe
of the colour of night
and the stars on it
twinkle
as the wind plays with its fall
the wings of the butterflies
clipped on your hair
flutter with the rhythm of the wind
who says
day and night can not coexist

maya
i see you
radiating joy
as the hymn of honey bees
fill the air with revere
and flock of devote birds
perch on the trees around
to watch in awe
the bliss on your face
then they break into a spontaneous song
which rises in an orchestrated crescendo
and fills the valley around
and the fairies
i think
i saw them dancing around you
as their brilliant wings
iridescent with your presence
create a halo
around you
who says
sound and silence
can not coexist

it is then you see me
maya
and your smile broadens
you wave your hand
to call me
and i follow your command
then when i reach you
you insist me to look beyond
i refuse at instance
tranced with the surface glitter
then you hold my hand
and lead me
through this maze of bright and brilliance
to the edge of a cliff

i looked down in to an endless abyss
jump she says
i hesitate
she tightens her grip on my hand
and we plunge together

and then i saw it
an open valley of reason
where cause and effect merge into unison
the sun, the moon, the stars, the comets
coexist in the sky
there is no day, there is no night
there is no darkness, there is no light
there is no joy, there is no sorrow
there today merges with tomorrow
there are no losses, their are no gains
there are no passions, there are no pains

this is me
the reality of existence
maya
you tell me

what you saw there
up on the hill was nothing but illusion
to reach here
you have to accept
i exist
and then walk beyond
the mesmerizing illusion
and then plunge
into the apparent darkens
only then you can find me
no one
can discover himself
without finding me

SUMMER OF SALVATION -1: The Deliverance

the day stood still
in a far away cemetery   

on that summer noon 

sky was overcast with gloom 

and wind heavy with hope

he wondered 

will the sun shine before it rains

what he sought defied logic

but then what was so logical between them

everything that bunched them together was ill-logical

they were two meandering souls

who somehow found a common script of joy

hidden in the pages of destiny

and there could have been no better place

then this 

to tie them to a common thread 

he looked at the sky 

it was getting darker sooner than he expected

but he was ready to wait till eternity 

on feet of his belief

reassuring himself that miracles happen
only if you believe in them 

time lingered on like a pachyderm 

slowly and steadily 

bearing his weight upon him 

then it began to rain

which soaked him to the bones 

but he realized that his sprit was still dry

resting on a epitaph

he knelt down at the foot of their shrine

and closed his eyes

it was bright and sunny within

no clouds, no rain, no gloom

his faith had been rewarded with deliverance 

was this not what he has waited for

she stood with him- within

smiling, laughing 

radiating with spontaneous energy 

her hair dancing with joy in the wind

her eyes iridescent with bliss

she hugged him

and he felt her percolating inside

he opened his eyes

the sun was smiling at him